Helping With Safety Decisions

I recently received a call from Justin who was in crisis at the Emergency Room He was at the hospital with his parents again after his elderly mother had fallen for the sixth time since this year. For the past two years, Justin had tried to persuade them to accept a professional in-home caregiver. But on more than one occasion, after having everything set up, his parents would cancel at the last minute. He was worried that his mom might fall again and that she would need to go to a rehab facility, leaving his father home alone, who was showing signs of dementia. He was at his wit's end.

I asked him if he felt that his role in his parents' lives had changed from child to caregiver. He agreed. When in the child role, he was more likely to make decisions that made his parents happy. If he was in a caregiver role, his parents' health and safety were his top priorities.

When you know deep down that your parent(s) can no longer safely stay in their home don't let demands and resistance influence your better judgment. Rather than waiting for a late-night phone call about a broken hip, medication overdose, or car accident, take proactive steps now.

The first step is to focus on dignity and respect for their self-determination. You have not become the parent, and they have not become the child. They are adults with protected civil rights to make their own decisions. Continue to try to collaborate with your parent(s) and find solutions that everyone can live with.

If you are unsure of the best options, our care managers can help. We will conduct a consultation to listen to everyone's concerns and make expert recommendations on solutions. Once a decision is made, we will help you with every step of the transition process, whether it be in-home care or a move to a facility.