The Sandwich Generation

You may have heard the term "Sandwich Generation."  It describes those of us who have older parents and younger children we still care for. We support both parents and children, juggling our children's needs and the eldercare needs. This can cause potential emotional strain from feeling pulled in multiple directions. We are "sandwiched" between both sets of family members with needs. It often leads to reduced work hours, strained relationships, and very little personal time.

The sandwich of care happened to me twice this summer.

My daughter had her move-in day for college.  If you have experienced this, you know it's a stressful ordeal, and you are trying your best to make a positive transition.  We got up early to ensure we were on time for our assigned time slot.  We then had to wait in a long line of other families to pick up keys, a parking pass, and directions to the unloading area.  Once we reached the unloading area, we had to get in line for a cart to unload all of her stuff.  After 5 loads, we had everything in her room and were able to unpack and put the room together.  By the time we left, her room was put together, and she was ready to say goodbye.  Even though she was only half an hour away, leaving was still emotional.  We were so excited for her to have a great college dorm experience but also sad not to have her at home anymore. 

On that same day, my mother-in-law, who lives in an apartment in our home, was in the hospital, and we were in contact with the case managers about discharge plans.  Although I do this for a living, speaking with my sister-in-law and the hospital professionals was stressful between picking up the key, finding parking, and taking loads to the room.  And, of course, I did not want to make these calls in front of my daughter, who wanted my undivided attention. 

My son also moved into his first post-college apartment a few weeks later.  It just happened to be on the same day that my mother-in-law went back to the hospital with some critical issues.  Again, I was sandwiched between advocating for my mother-in-law by reading the lab results on the online portal, explaining the results to my husband, and staying in touch with the hospitalist to determine the next medical intervention.  I could not be in two places at one time, so I felt the pull of needing to give attention to my older and younger family members at the same time.

If you are simultaneously caring for your aging parents and your own children, our care managers can help. We will start with a consultation to listen to your concerns and make expert recommendations on how we can take things off your plate. You don't have to struggle to do this on your own, we can help you take the next steps.